I don't know anyone who deserves to get chopped up and fed to a hungry plant (part II)

Frankenstef quickly learns that liability insurance is something that every Dutch person has, especially since the monthly fees are never more than €2. But what is liability insurance for, Frankenstef wonders, other than this sort of freak accident? Well, if you drop a friend's camera out the window, liability insurance covers it. If your dog knocks a Delft vase off the table, liability insurance covers it.

How come Frankenstef does not have this ridiculously cheap, "normal" form of insurance? Because no one told her to get it. Within days, she's purchased this somewhat strange form of coverage (in short, it prevents the need of small claims court...Judge Judy would not do well here) and is completely stunned at how easy it was to procure.

Unfortunately, it's not retroactive (duh) and the "I didn't know I was supposed to have it" argument does not matter to the insurer or the law. So when the sun went down on the last day of November, she did what any normal Dutch person would do -- put it off for a couple of months until the holidays are over. (not kidding -- maybe the only silver lining of all the bureaucracy in this nation is that people are willing to let things take....for...........ev...........................er)

Returning to the Netherlands, Frankenstef plays the ignorant & poor card and makes an appointment with legal aid. They kindly tell her she makes too much for the free help and ship her off to a nice personal injury lawyer who begins investigating the possibility for recourse given that the Taxi is believed to be AT LEAST equal in blame.

"So they don't have this kind of insurance in the U.S?" asks the lawyer. No, says Frankenstef. "Well, what do they have?" Nothing. (this then deteriorated into an argument about whether I was actually right. I'm no lawyer and my only experience with law was the LSAT and keeping corporate records -- not exactly ambulance chasing. But I have asked numerous, non-JLo adults. I maintain there is nothing like this as a "regular" option to "regular" Americans.) "Do you have photos from after the accident?" Funny you should ask, I refused to have them taken. "What about the clothing you were wearing?" In a sick twist of fate, I was in short spandex and an already blood/paint-stained t-shirt to exercise in. "Hmmm. Well, make a list of your costs -- if we can get them to pay half, then we may be able to argue that you shouldn't have to pay more than half of the taxi's." But isn't the Taxi at fault? "The taxi company did a smart thing and listed the accident as 'an act of god' and in fact, the police report seems to put you at fault. But it doesn't list vehicle speed." (Act of God is actually a legitimate choice in filing a police report? WTF?) So that's a good thing because it means it's incomplete? "Yes. And the insurance company did not originally know there was an injured party -- that is why the request for funds took 6 months to arrive." So another vote for incomplete? "Yah." Is there any way to make an argument that it is impossible that I could have caused this much damage to his car? "That is difficult." (there was never really an answer as to why....) But my costs were so minimal. "What about lost work time?" Ah, well, good thing that my hourly rates are pretty steep (fun fact: I cost a little less per hour than a prostitute in the red light district).

Winter turns into spring. Spring becomes summer. And on one rainy day in July (note that this is now 15 months after the accident) the insurance company agrees to pay half my expenses. Receipts and proofs are submitted.

And then Frankenstef waited. And waited, and waited, and waited.

There she sits today, still waiting for a word of resolution. Some early mornings, when the rain falls on the quiet streets, you can here the clicking of the keys as she types email after follow up email, begging for it to end.

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