Carnies....Smell like cabbage. Small hands.

I get a lot of questions about Amsterdam that are pretty similar to all the questions that I have about Las Vegas. They are all along the lines of "Is it really as crazy there as I think it is?"

Usually, my answer to this is no (but I hear in Vegas the answer is "yes"). The Dutch are just like everybody else -- some people smoke pot, some people take hallucinogens, some people visit prostitutes and some people have never tried hash, shrooms or women. Like the U.S., The Netherlands has a Christian Right (who is just as scary -- see the recent news on an anti-Muslim film) as well as nuclear families and regular old folks who just aren't into these things. For example, one of my coworkers noted that he's never tried marijuana. True, that's kinda like telling me he's never had a drink given the laws here, but I usually have a similarly visceral reaction when someone from the U.S. tells me they've never tried the sweet sweet sensi. So while yes, approximately 30% of Amsterdammers have tried Marijuana, approximately 35% of New Yorkers have (booyah delivery service).

Now, recently there was a TV movie screening on NATIONAL PUBLIC TELEVISION that has made me think twice about my "The Dutch are Normal" response as outlined above. Deep Throat (no, not a documentary about Watergate, but the 1972 porno) was shown on late night TV on February 23. AND they must have shown it again at some point, b/c I forget when I saw it, but I was out of town on Feb 23, so it means there was definitely a rerun screening.

So, I'm no porn connoisseur (jokes about homemade porn, by the way, are not funny and I do not recall that incident Senator). But this movie was friggin' hilarious. I was flicking through the channels and came across it while the main character is giving an inverted blow job (not sure if that is correct terminology...use your imagination), but all you can see is her face all over this dude's cock. Indeed, this dude was hung and indeed, she was going to town like a kid at a carnival. A carnival you ask? Well that's what it sounded like...

In my narrow experience with the genre, I always thought there was cheesy romantic music or grunting and semi-fake orgasmic screaming. But this movie played Ferris wheel music. Think dancing midgets, house of mirrors, etc. I couldn't get over it. Big hairy cock? yeah yeah yeah, what's the big deal. Big hairy cock set to state fair music? now you've got my attention. Of all the porn films to choose to play on TV...

(doo doo doo to too too doo doo do to too, etc.)