Het Weekend op Koln Karnival -- daily recap
Friday (still in Amsterdam): Going away party with work, rollllllllls into evening of madness. Thank god I set my alarm clock before going out.
Saturday: Wake up (hungover) and go to costume shop for last minute accouterments. Actually make train to Koln, but afraid to go to sleep b/c I don't want to miss the stop and end up in Frankfurt. A plastic pirate sword sticks out of my bag the whole ride, but no one gives me weird looks (approximately 50% of the train looked like Saturday Night Fever on acid). Arrive at the sweetest hotel ever (three cheers for consultants and Starwood points) and was promptly exposed to "Cuarenta y tres" also known as "Liquid Gold." Put on a blue wig and hit the streets. I look NORMAL compared to everyone else. One of our sidekicks was a viking lion man. Even weirder than that is we ran into, oh, 20 other people with the exact same costume. And there were a lot of white guys dressed up as Arabs which makes me feel a whole lot more PC about my life in general. Wander around to various bars which all have bad German folk music.
Sunday: Yar, pirate day. I look like a "good nazi" (not sure if we can call me that in Koln b/c there is still some sensitivity around that whole WW2 thing...). We have our hearts set on a breakfast of margaritas due to beer overload (we aren't German so it's tough, even if you aren't beerhatingstef, it's like all beer all the time). After being informed that Mexican restaurants don't exist in the city, we find one 2 blocks away from the hotel and are PSYCHED until the waitress tells us "no cocktails." Wassup bitches? So, we (and by "we" I mean "I") finish two litres of red wine. Then we go to a beer garden and listen to more rocking German folk songs -- though I didn't witness it, apparently we complain that the Germans give too much head...in their beer ("In America, we fill the glasses to the top"). Take a nap, more beer and German folk songs, nap, rolling around the floor in the lobby of our hotel, nap, etc.
Monday: We didn't leave the hotel because (drumroll) the hotel bar had margaritas! I need a life!
Tuesday: Biiiiittttttttttttttttte
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